Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
