Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
