Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
