So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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