1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
