I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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