Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
