I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
