And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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