part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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