arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
