I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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