i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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