Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
