***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
are you so shy because you have an std?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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