Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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