yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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