Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your penis caused this!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
