this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
