the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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