My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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