problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
