my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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