He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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