She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Floor bacon is actually really good
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
