i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's Friday. Sex?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't notice because vodka
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
