I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
