Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
