I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
