He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
