if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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