I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
