no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
