Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
