Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
