doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
