I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
