I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
