She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
