You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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