i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
