No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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