and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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