i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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