So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I had to cum in my sink.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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