I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
