scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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