so explain again why im purple
no
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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