what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
