Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
