I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
