what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
