I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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