i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
