Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
