remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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