Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize