I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
