alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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