He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
