considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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