don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
