I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize