I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
