dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
