That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize