We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
