No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Pants are for mortals
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
