i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
